Unfortunately, I don’t think I can say that my dad is improving. In fact, its been a slow up hill battle that keeps getting steaper with no resolution and lowered motivation. It’s so hard to make someone want to keep trying and fighting when they’ve already given up. We feed him and try to get him to eat everything given to him, but the amount he’s been eating gets smaller and smaller. If he continues like this the doctors said he’ll have to go on a feeding tube.
One humorous moment- My dad said he couldn’t eat any more, but I was a little persistent in trying to get him to eat more. He said, “I’m going to throw up!” When he’s angry, his voice can actually get louder than a whisper. But then he said, “I’ll eat the dessert,” just after that. So, we don’t know how serious he is when he says those things. We all went to get In N Out burgers and my Dad chimed in that he wanted one too! We were all very surprised because this was the first time he mentioned wanting any kind of food. We got a burger for him, but then when we gave it to him, he could barely get eat one bite.
Today was a big day for him. I was persisent in motivating him to gather the energy within him so he could go for a ride in the wheel chair and go outside, see the outdoors and cool breeze, sunshine, vitamin D, etc….He was hesitant at first but with the doctors also assuring him that it’d be good for him, he agreed. This is a big proceedure because my dad can’t walk. He can’t sit himself up in bed or even stand. So, at the rehabilitation center, they have this machine that’s like a motorized hammock. They put the hammock underneath him while he’s in bed, and then hook it up to a lift. So, he’s in the air in a hamock that slowly drops him into the chair. It was scary to watch this, and a little shocking at the big proceedures just to get someone from a bed to a wheelchair. The doctors said he should stay in the chair for about 2 hours. It doesn’t sound like a lot to you and me, but for someone that’s been in bed for a month who’s lost all muscle, even sitting can be so strenuous on your body. He complained a lot. I took him to the lounge area where they have a piano, and played some stuff for him. I thought it’d be theraputic. Then we went outside, but it actually was a little chilly so we had to go back in pretty quickly. When we got back inside, we met up with my mom. I tried to get my dad to eat more of his power bar, which he usually loves, but was now refusing to eat. I said forcfully, “Dad, you have to eat this! Open your mouth! Eat it!” Finally he did, but then 5 minutes later I noticed brown goo leaking out the side of his mouth, I wondered what it was, and realized it was the chocolate from the power bar that he didn’t swallow and just left in his mouth. Then he said, “Get me out! I want to go back on the table!” (table=bed). We told him he couldn’t yet, and had to wait a bit longer till the doctors got back. He got angrier and said “Get me out! I’m in pain! Don’t make me beg! Help Help HELP” Loudly so other doctors could hear. The doctors/nurses there get used to this from other patients as well and have learned to igore it because usually they just want company. My mom told him again he would have to wait till the docor got back so he can operate the lift. “Sue, get me outta here, I will divorce you.” We wheeled by some other people, family members for other patients and as we passed them my dad would say, “Help, she’s hurting me.” Of course we know he’s in pain, but it’s really hard to do this to someone when you know in the long run its going to help them, but they think youre hurting them.
Also, sometimes its hard to understand what he’s talking about. Today he said, “Where the dogs crap. Where the dogs crap. Plant. Death plant. Bed plant.” We figured it out from “Bed plant” that he meant ‘bed pan.’
Anyway, enough of that. It depresses me to much.. This is boring to you I know, whomever reads this, but mostly this is for me.
Goodnight.
