christmas December 26, 2007

My dad is doing better, less mistakes when he speaks. But he is very depressed. Christmas morning when we were all together, he broke down in tears about how much he loves us and he’s sorry he couldn’t get us all more things for Christmas. I didn’t really care about not getting anything, I just was happy he was home.

I did however, find an old casio mt 52 hidden in the closet that I had from when I was a kid. I have been playing this a lot. It can make really cool beats and you can change the tempo and what drums to use, and it has a ‘fingering’ thing where if you hit one note it can play this beat, and you can play songs on top of it, or just play over the beat without the fingering. There are so many options and cool things it can do.
pop in 5 double A batteries and you’ll have a fantastic time for hours.

Christmas eve was fun. We went out to this Italian place with Barbara and Jerry and their daughter Emily. Emily is Jennifer Garner’s assistant and travels all over with her and ben and gets paid lots and lots. She is really nice. I like her. The owner of the Italian restaurant is a real italian and he put on some italian music and started singing loudly to it and dancing around and went up to every person in the place and hugged them. Everyone. Not one person missed. Then he played some Christmas music and everyone sang along. It was fun.

Christmas day we opened what little presents that we had. My mom actually got a lot of things from her sister. I got a Far Side calendar. I have gotten a Far Side calendar for the past 3 years in a row. I don’t know why. Later on that day, my mom told me that she is getting her hair cut next week and that I should come along and get mine done as well. I told her I was trying to grow it outbut that maybe I could have it straightened. Then she grabbed my arm and walked me over to my senior picture from highschool and wanted to know why I would want to straighten my hair. “Look at that, I just love how your hair used to look.” Then she took it a step further. ” I just wish you would wear some make up or something, you could look so pretty.” “You used to wear makeup and make yourself look nice.” “You don’t dress nice, or make yourself look pretty.”

Then I laid it down. I told them I’ve had the last straw. I can’t stand constantly being nagged at. About my my hair, or how I dress, or my job, or money, or benefits, or not going to the doctor to get medicine, or buying a scooter…etc. I told them that if they don’t have anything nice to say, not to say anything. That all I hear from them is negative things, nothing encouraging, and that it has to stop, that it’s bringing me down. I can’t accurately describe to you what it’s like. I really wish I had a tape recorder sometimes, because I am appalled at some of the things that come out of their mouth. “You need to grow up and be a normal person. There is something wrong with you. Something we did or something to make you like this.”

I got a ticket. “Notice of Delinquent Parking Violation.” My registration is expired on the Trooper. I got this while it was parked on Selma. The car is at my parent’s place now. I’ll pay that off tomorrow. I’ve gotten a lot of inquiries about the car, but none that I believe will actually pan out.

I got a call today from Matt from work. I was supposed to ride with him and Stuart to Vegas for the NYE job. He told me he didn’t realize that Stuart had already asked some guy to come along and do it, and that on top of that, with all their equipment in the car there wouldn’t be enough room. I’m sad, but actually a little relieved. I want to be able to relax this new years eve. Not have the stress of working.

my car for sale. December 23, 2007

I just posted an ad for my car on craigslist: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/car/518234555.html And I immediately got this response. HUm.

Ramirez Manuel wrote:

How are you? I’m interested in what you posted for
sale, kindly get back to me with your mailing
address if it’s still available i will like to make
an outright purchase immediately, Thanks as i
awaityour quick response.

holy moley December 23, 2007

I passed!

I get my certificate in the mail.

yay! December 22, 2007

I finished my 1st part of the class this morning. 5 hours of riding. 7-12. It was much easier for me this time. I knew what I was doing.

The first exercise, was to just walk with the clutch in a little until it grabs, “friction zone.” After that they showed us how to turn the bike around so it perfectly ends up on the right side of our marker. Then we rode it in first gear and practiced a smooth stop.

The second part was basically a figure 8 path. At the ends is where we start, get to 2nd gear and downshift to first and pull to a smooth stop. Cut through the middle and get in line again. This was the part I had trouble with a couple weeks ago, but I mastered it this time!

The third part was more riding it in 2nd downshifting to 1st but never having the bike stop. Which is difficult if people in front of you aren’t going fast enough. Then “slow look press role” for turns. I’m pretty good at turns and leaning and accelerating slightly through the turn. Fun Fun Fun.

The next part was getting to 2nd gear faster and then shifting to third, downshifting to 2nd, slowing down and looping back around again and again.

Next we did weaving. This is so fun. It’s easier to smoothly weave in and out of the cones when going a bit faster, because there is less wobbling.

Then we did bigger weaves where we had to turn a bit tighter, some of the cones on the end i missed, maybe I went too fast. We could do this in any gear. I think maybe it’s easier in first for that.

Then we practiced pulling to a fast stop from 2nd. I don’t like fast stops. I like safe slow smooth ones. They told us for this to use the front brake more and then pull in the clutch. I found that what Robert said, using the rear brake first is really smooth, and less jolty.

Tomorrow is the second part. I asked what we’d be doing, but they just said, ” more advanced things.” I think we actually go out on the street tomorrow. Scary!

Then I stopped by the parents place where they explained to me more how my job and my money and everything is insufficient. How I need to “grow up” and not spend money I don’t have on something that’s not important, (talking about buying a bike). They didn’t even ask me how it went this morning. I think the best way to not get upset about them is to just go along with it. Say, “yeah. You’re right.” “Mmm hum.” I didn’t like being there, so I left. Now I am home. I hope to look at more places to live today.

busy bee. December 20, 2007

I had a holiday party with everyone at work on Wednesday. It was fun! We went to this nice restaurant and ordered nice food and nice drinks, got some nice presents: Bottle of Korbel champagne, $100 gift certificate to anywhere, nice frame, candy, candle… all of that on top of my raise, things are finally looking up! I worked a bit later today to get things finished with the all girls orthodox jewish school. Those names are crazy! I’ve been working a bit later in general all this week to get things finished before the break. After work, I bought Jim a present. The scarf looked nice, but the shirt was too small. I’ll have to take that back. Jim found a Toto Coelo record for me! That’s what I wanted too!

New Years. I didn’t have any plans, so I made some today. I will help out with lighting and shooting the decor shots for a million dollar new years eve party in Las Vegas. All the hotels there compete for the biggest party. I’ll help Matt with the Mirage. It should be interesting. They only need me for the first part of the party from about 3-6ish, then I’m on my own! No, really on my own walking around Las Vegas while everyone else I came with will be working. Maybe eventually I’ll meet up with them. Maybe I’ll go play black jack and drink a drink, maybe I’ll go explore the hotel and go swimming. C’est la Vie!

apartment hunting December 19, 2007

Last night I went to look at another place. I loved it. It was perfect for me. And I really like that area next to the park. But just after I looked at it, the guy that was down there with me handed me a phone so I could speak to his English speaking friend. She told me that she had rented out the place today.

Too late.

Wowie Zowie! December 16, 2007

So, I didn’t find any Toto Coelo. But it would make a nice x-mas gift, hint hint. I did, however, stumble upon this book Everybody Hurts, written by my friend Trevor Kelley.

I hung out with him a couple weeks ago and met his fiance, Angie. He used to date my best friend Jen. It was weird to see him with someone else. Anyway, it’s a really funny book. I also found a Talking Heads record and an Ozzy record, “Bark at the Moon.” It rocks.

ALSO! The best news of the day: I went to my mailbox this morning and found a holiday card from my boss. In it was a nice little message saying how much she appreciates my work around the studio and that she’s giving me a raise!!!!

banana fields strawberry trees. December 16, 2007

Yesterday I woke up after a night of pool and karaoke. It was fun. I sang “I Eat Cannibals.” Toto Coelo is my new favorite band. Then at 10:15, I took my permit test and passed! Yay! Now I can legally ride! Not on freeways or at night though.

Then I went to visit my parents. We went to buy a christmas tree. You would think something like that would be fun and enjoyable, but not really. When we got to the christmas tree lot, they had it in their heads that they wanted a 4foot tree. I thought that was unusually smaller than the tree we got before, so I simply asked, “Why do you have to have a 4 foot tree?” And suddenly, they just blew up at me. They started screaming at me. “Jenny!! Stop nagging! I told you we wanted a 4 foot tree, and thats what we’re getting!” It didn’t matter to me what size we got at all, I just wanted to know, and if asking one question constitutes for nagging, then I’m totally sorry. So, I went a found this 6 foot tree that I was trying to explain to them that they can have cut down to size. And they started yelling at me again. Saying that that’s a 6 foot, and they don’t want that. And that it would cost more to have that done. And my dad was yelling at me, but because of his disease the words weren’t coming out right. “That’s a 6000 foot, I don’t want 6000, only 4000 trees.” Something like that. It was embarrassing being yelled at in public. Before this even, I was being yelled at, at home. About getting asthma medicine for myself, or that I have to “grow up” get a better job with better benefits and more money.” I was tired of being yelled at all day. It’s very emotionally wearing.

Or them yelling at each other. It really upsets me seeing my mom and dad fight so much about petty things when we should just be happy that Dad is home in the first place. My dad was saying how he wanted some money in pocket for when he goes out to buy the tree. My mom was argueing with him about how he doesn’t need any cash. She finally gave him $35, but my dad was saying how he needed a bit more, and my mom just screamed at him. I don’t know why she just wouldn’t give him some money. I want to give him anything he wants. I said, “stop argueing! Just give him some money!” “Don’t start in Jenny! I’m not yelling! He doesn’t need any more money!” They argue about everything and are completely disillusioned to the fact of it.

Anyway, back to the christmas tree lot- I walked back to the car because I didn’t want to be yelled at. A few moments later, they came in the car saw that I was crying, and told me, “You’re a nut job, you need to seek psychiatric help.” That just made me more sad, hearing that from people who are yelling at me for simply trying to help them. They started driving away giving up on buying a tree. I told them, that this is not a difficult thing, that I don’t understand why we are leaving the place with no tree. They yelled back at me, “You go get it then!” So, they pulled the back into the lot. I got out. Grabbed a beautiful 6 foot tree. Had it cut and threw it in the back. Done. When we got back home, nothing really changed. I was in the living room area because the dogs tend to stay out of that area, and being that I was allergic to them, it was good for me. They started nagging at me from the other room, “Look at her Sue, she is unbelievable. You need a better job.” I can’t accurately describe what they were saying or what the situation was really like. I just really wish that I had a witness with me to defend myself, or a tape recorder to play for them. Mostly I was staying in the other room, not because I was going to have an asthma attack, but because I didn’t want to be constantly yelled at. At one point, when I asked my mom for an appology, she said, “I don’t know what happened. Something happened in your childhood or something, or we fucked up along the line to make you like this.” Then after she appologized, she started in again about how I need to “grow up.” When I was your age, I was married and I had a good job, I wasn’t going out and spending money on some motorcycle.” Something like that. I really wish I had a tape recorder. I know I should just try harder to ignore it or not repond to it, because that usually ends up with me being more upset or making them more angry with me. You can’t change people, and I know we will never see eye to eye.

I left. I went to Robert’s place and met up with him Hannah and Jim. We drank bud lights and listened to really good records. That is fun. I could do that for hours. I want to find Toto Coelo records today, or go play pool. I bet I could find a record with that song on it for like 2 bucks.

snacks. December 13, 2007

I saw another apartment tonight. It felt like going to a different country over there. When I got there I was trying to find the managers room, and asked other tenants. No one spoke English. Not one word. Well….Ok. One person said, “No speak English.” But even when I pointed to my map and the name of the manager and the address to the building to which he lives in, I just got a blank stare. I tried to remember the word for manager, but I forgot. I guess I could’ve said, “el jefe.” Finally, I saw a little kid about 10 years old. She spoke English. Turns out her mom is the boss. This apartment, granted a shithole, was marginally better than shithole number one but I couldn’t imagine living there either. It did have a tub. And a closet. They promise to put in a stove and a fridge and a door to the closet, but I can’t stand that cheap blue industrial carpet. Even if it’s brand new. It sucks. I do like that area near Mac Arthur park though. I can image during a nice sunny day it would be nice to have a picnic there by the lake.

American History X is on. I like snacks. What’s your favorite snack food?

apartment December 13, 2007

I went to look at another place last night. Near Wilshire and Western. It was so small I started to feel claustrophobic and there wasn’t anything in the room yet. It was a tiny 12×12 space, plus a bathroom where the door has to be closed in order to open the shower door. No tub, just a shower. I hate that. I like baths. No closets and a little mini fridge with a half range on top with a sink. The sink and range take up the width of the fridge, if you can imagine, so there is on counter space. I hated it. It was way too expensive for that size. Even if it was $300, I wouldn’t want to live there. The manager was really nice, however. He told me jokes. I’m looking at another one tonight.

Dad’s on a ton of drugs and doing great!